HOW TO NOT LET EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), emotion is defined as a complex reaction pattern involving experiential, behavioral and physiological elements. Emotions are how individuals deal with matters or situations they find personally significant. Emotions are also said to be the spirit or breath of life.

Emotions lead to action, which is why your emotions has the ability to control how you react in your daily life. It can affect your mental health, physical health, decision making, relationships, etc.

"Problem is not the problem, coping is the problem"

- Virginia Satir

In a play called 'Helmet' by William Shakespeare, a very famous line says, "There's nothing good or bad, thinking makes it so." Actually, we are the ones who create our emotions and not the environment - which can be changed. You choose how to interpret the external stimulus. The way you interpret is the thing that determines whether you feel good or bad. There is no negative event, there is just an event. For instance, if you catch your friend talking bad things about you behind your back, you have a choice to either be sad over it and feel heartbroken or completely disconnecting from that person because you know you do not deserve it. 

As we are aware, that emotions can control us, it is important we know that our emotions only controls us if we let them. A christian hymn includes a quote that says, "I'm gonna sing in the middle of the storm", which explains how powerful and capable we are of handling our emotions. Though, intense emotions aren't all bad, as emotions prescribes our actions and colors our world. You can figure out when there is a problem. Do you have difficulty relating to others? Do you face relationship or friendship conflict? Do you have trouble at work or school? Are you physically and mentally tired? Do you have the urge to use substances to help manage your emotions? We all face such times when we find it hard to overcome uncontrollable emotions. We've all had times when emotions got the best of us, which is why it is important to master our emotions. Master of emotions is the one who can alter the invisible structure around them. Emotional mastery is about perceiving multiple layers of meaning in the negative space of life. It is about seeing all the potential realities that could exist.

HOW TO PRACTICE EMOTIONAL MASTERY:

• Re frame your negativity into positivity: Know that you don't have to, but you choose to feel your emotions. Choose positive ways to react to a situation. This will help you keep a balanced mind. Turn your negativity into opportunity. Instead of getting disappointed in certain circumstances, ask yourself, how can this opportunity help me practice my virtues. For example, if your train gets delayed for the next two hours, instead being frustrated, consider it as an opportunity to practice patience.
• Select the situation: Do less of what you don't like. Avoid circumstances that trigger unwanted emotions. For example, if you find someone extremely annoying, find a way to not be able to see them or bump into them.
• Ask yourself if those emotions are valuable: Is your reaction towards a situation valuable? If no, try to shift your attentional focus, and distract yourself from whatever that is not rewarding.
• Basics: Eating a healthy diet, taking enough sleep, taking regular cold showers, etc, can help you regulate your emotions.
• Meditation and mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness and meditating can help you be fully aware of your feelings and experiences. When you meditate, you are allowing yourself to sit with your feelings, noticing them and changing them if they aren't healthy.

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