THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND LYING

He does not answer questions, or gives evasive answers; he speaks nonsense, rubs the great toe along the ground; and shivers; his face is discolored; he rubs the roots of his hair with his fingers.

- Description of a liar, 900 B.C.

A lie is an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving someone. On an average, we lie at least 3 times in a ten minutes conversation with a stranger, and we rarely even realize. People start lying with a very early age, as early as six months old. For instance, babies fake crying. Babies tend to fake cry in order to get attention from the people around, which they have learned and adapted from their environment. It has been observed, that on an average, a kid tends to lie to their mothers once in every five interactions, which clearly explains how better we get at lying as with experience. As early humans, it was difficult for people to detect the liars and to even lie themselves as lying isn't very easy for the brain to do. But through evolution, we have become good liars and also good at spotting bad liars. Lying, though, is a great way of keeping elaborate social structures running smoothly, which is why we humans are more prone to lying.

WHY DO PEOPLE LIE?

There can be a variety of reasons for a person to lie, some of the most common reasons could be:

1. Avoiding punishment - Avoiding punishments is the most frequent reason people tell serious lies. For example, your mother had told you to get home before 8 o'clock, but you don't keep in mind and stay with your friends till 9. Once you get home, you'll fear of getting a punishment, so you might lie that your friend had gotten a sudden injury and you were compelled to stay for longer.
2. Protecting someone from harm - Protecting someone else from harm is another most common reason for telling serious lies. For example, you don't want your friend to get into trouble for getting home late, so you might call your friend's mother, lying that there was a sudden emergency at your place which is why your friend couldn't get home at time.
3. Maintaining privacy - People often lie to maintain privacy. For instance, if a classmate asks you why you had been crying, you might not want to tell the actual reason and would rather give another false reason.
4. Avoiding embarrassment - Avoiding embarrassment is relevant to less serious lies that comes under everyday life. For example, you accidentally spill the water on the back seat of a car that doesn't belong to you, when asked, you might give false replies like, "I have no clue of how it happened".
5. Being polite - We often lie to seem more polite in certain situations. Like, thanking someone for your birthday present even when you don't like it.

HOW DO WE SPOT A LIAR: 

In serious situations, where the liar can be punished if detected, the lies can be detected by facial expressions, body movements, gaze, voice, or words. A few ways in which we can identify a liar:

• When lying, people often refer to others or a third person in order to disassociate or distant themselves from the lie.
• They tend to be more negative. For instance, "Oh! I hate my phone for hanging so much that I couldn't even take your calls".
• They might use simple terms for lying, yet longer sentences.
• They will include all details about the situation no matter how unnecessary or irrelevant they are.
• Saying things like, "Believe me" or "Trust me", to please the victim.
• In order to look more distant from the lie, they will use disassociating words like the use of "that" instead of "the". For example, "I don't know anything about that purse".
• Their upper bodies freeze and they try to have less or excessive eye contacts.
• Constant shaking of the head, and using the word "yes".

One type of lying, called Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is a chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. Unlike telling occasional lies, they lie for no apparent reason. They are great storytellers and their lies tend to be very detailed and colorful. The person hearing these stories, wouldn't be fully convinced to believe them as they are barely believable stories.

SIDE EFFECTS OF LYING:

• If caught, people might lose their trust over you even though you might not be hurting them intentionally.
• Apart from losing trust, people might label you as dishonest or as a cheater.
• If you lie in front of someone who is a paranoid or is violent, you are more likely to get into trouble. In serious circumstances, at least minimal truth will help you get off of trouble.
• Lying once, can lead to a ball of lies. You might get compelled to lie in different other circumstances after you lie once.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Lying can be a horribly destructive habit that can lead to painful consequences. It's important we keep reminding ourselves how lying can mess up with our lives, and our relationships with people. When you start to feel the urge to lie, stop and think for a moment about how the person would feel if they get to know that you lied to them, think about what will they think of you and will they ever trust you again. Find someone you trust and tell them about your lying habit, no matter how big or small you think your problem is. Honesty will always be fruitful.

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