SIGNS OF IMMATURITY + HOW TO CULTIVATE MATURITY

Suppose, you want to talk to a friend with whom you just had a fight. After two days of having the argument with them, you decide to confront how you feel and sort out all issues, but when you start talking to them about your argument with them, they seem to switch the topic and act like nothing really happened. While we've all had moments of childishness, such behaviors can end up taking a toll on our relationships. 

Someone emotionally immature will find it hard to effectively communicate or process their emotions and can often appear as selfish or aloof. 

A FEW COMMON SIGNS OF IMMATURITY

1. Attention seeking behavior: 

• It is normal for children to take part in the "attention seeking behavior". Here, attention can also refer to as affection, security, relief, etc. Sometimes when a child is deprived of the needed affection and emotional security while growing up, they often turn out to be "attention seekers" as adults. A child crying in the middle of a street, does not have an issue with himself, rather they want their needs to be met.
• If you see someone who often takes part in the attention  seeking behavior, make them feel heard. When talking to them, give them your complete attention, and communicate clearly and compassionately. If you find yourself being involved in such behavior, allow yourself to get to the core of what you actually need. For instance, if you find yourself constantly needing validation in a friendship, allow yourself to openly tell your friend that you don't feel they give you enough affection or make you feel understood.

2. Inability to handle emotions:

• Children usually have low distress tolerance, limited understanding of emotions and don't really know how and when to express them. For a child, its normal to throw tantrums out of no where, because of their unfulfilled needs. For instance, if a child does not get a toy of his choice in the time when he needs it, he might first get extremely sad, which would make him angry and in turn will make him act really chaotic. Through such phases of emotions, we learn how and when to handle and deal with our emotions. But if an adult still finds it hard to deal with their emotions, it can be a sign of immaturity.
• If you know somebody who has the inability to handle emotions, challenge them to adequately describe their emotions, and make them understand how some emotional expressions might not be appropriate in certain situations. Writing down emotions can also help a lot, as it will allow the person to feel them.

3. Egocentrism:

Kids don't understand or take a long time to understand that the world does not revolve around them. They don't understand that other people are also the center of their own universe. For example, if your partner does not pay attention to your concerns and requirements, it's clear that they have some emotional growing to do.

4. They have commitment issues:

Talking about the future can feel intimidating to someone who is emotionally immature. They may avoid plans with others as they could be afraid of limiting their freedom. 

5. They don't own their mistakes:

Instead of being thoughtful and admitting what they have done wrong, they'll blame and gaslight others for their own actions. Such people can often take advantage of others and victimize themselves. Lying becomes also pretty common among these people. 

WAYS TO CULTIVATE MATURITY

• Listen more, talk less: Some people tend to treat conversations as a competitive sport. Listening is one of the major signs of maturity, as when you listen, you understand and take things.

• Avoid criticism and being envious: If you are mature and responsible enough, refrain from reacting to feedback from other people because this is only a sign of a childish response.

• Never blame others for your rejections and failures in life: Instead of taking their own responsibility, some people look for others to blame for their mistakes, rejections, and failures. Actually, with the right attitude, you can learn from your mistakes and accept the fact that failure is okay. After all, failure only teach you how to be strong in life.

• Initiate a straightforward conversation: Bring your needs and requirements to other peoples' attention. When you start doing this, you'll realize how simply things will fall into place and how simple life actually is.

***