HOW WOMEN AND MEN CAN SUPPORT EACH OTHER

A collective well-being between men and women is I think is the most basic yet the most important for any society. The depth of it came to be seen a year ago when the MeToo movement came out, and we heard millions of voices rise to say "MeToo". Many women were angry because of the abuse they had to face, and men who felt demonized even when they did nothing to deserve it, remained in angry as well. Men and women really need to figure out a way to create equality.

HOW MEN CAN SUPPORT WOMEN

• Call out sexism: You can start doing this in your own friend groups. Stop bonding over other guys who proudly throw sexist comments on women, or even objectify them. This locker-room talk really needs to stop, and this could only be done if men too understand that it is not okay. If women don't do this(most women won't), we expect the same from the men. If you hear sexist comments from someone you're not friends with, just don't laugh at their comments or give them any positive reinforcement. If they do so, ask them to explain what they mean and tell them how inappropriate this is, which can be done in a polite way. Men's engagement in this is very important because any misogynistic man thinks all men are misogynists. 

• Cut off toxic men: It is important to cut off toxic men from the society for both men and women. If a person does not show any improvement or understanding even after being called out for saying sexist things, cut off ties with them. They must realize that they de-humanize women when they do stuff like that, and this does not make them a good person. Ask yourself if you would want to be friends with such a person, and yes there are many others who would treat women with decency and respect. So, you won't be left alone if you cut off a toxic person.

• Stop invalidating women: We live in a society where it is often okay for men to think of any women as super talkative, senseless or delicate. They need to understand that we are so much more than that and we are as human as they are. Our opinions, thoughts and feelings matter. Let women have a voice! If you see a woman upset, do not constantly point her out on being upset, instead try to focus on why she is upset. In debates or between casual conversations, it is always observed that at least one male would disrupt when a woman is already talking or speak over a woman, this behavior is also a reason why most women think that maybe when they talk, they often sound stupid. 

• Acknowledge your privilege: I think it is pretty difficult for men to acknowledge their own privilege, because people often don't realize that they are privileged. You don't feel scared while walking down a road all alone in the middle of a night, but women are, because you might pass the road pretty safely and a woman at your place might get murdered or kidnapped. People prefer listening to your opinions before they listen to any woman's. Your fear might be being in a prison, but for a woman, she might be living that kind of a life everyday.

• Appreciate women's effort: There are so many reasons you can appreciate women for. Be it how much emotional effort they put in their relationships with people, or how great caretakers they are of their families. People often tell women they don't need to spend so much money and time on branded clothing, make-up, skin-care, expensive hair products, waxing, etc, because they don't need them, but also understand the pressure a woman goes through when they don't do such things. We barely might have seen a celebrity at a public place with no make up on or with hairy arms and legs, because they know how many hate comments they would have to go through on social media if they do so. Men too face pressures to look good, of course they do, but it is nothing in comparison with what women experience. There definitely are women who would reject these standards and live up to what makes them feel comfortable, but most women would try their best to attain these standards.

• Help them with housework: Many men get so much time to relax as they get home from work, but when a women gets home from work, she has to do all the pending chores of the house, which is called as the second shift in Sociology. Women are labelled as housewives and non-working, even when they have so many responsibilities at home and do loads of household chores, no doubt it is very heartbreaking. So, divide the housework between both the man and the woman and make sure it is actually 50-50.

• Don't be a fake feminist: Actions speak louder than words! I have seen many guys say they're feminists when they actually think their gender is more dominating than the other. Don't say you are a feminist just to look good in people's eyes or to convince the society in appreciating you.

HOW WOMEN CAN SUPPORT MEN

• Invite vulnerability: It might be difficult at once, because we can't just ask them to be vulnerable, it has to be a safe place so that it comes out naturally. It must be an environment for them to feel safe and where they would want to be vulnerable as it is often difficult for men to easily show emotions like, disappointment or sadness, because our society often tells men that the only way in which they can express themselves is anger. Men first need to be vulnerable with themselves. Always keep checking on them, so that they know that there are people they can talk to. Do this by asking them how they are feeling, how their day was, etc.  

• Don't minimize their feelings: Men themselves too need to stop minimizing their feelings. People often minimize their feelings by proudly telling them to "be a man" or "man up". These stereotypes revolving around men really need to stop. Not allowing men to cry or show any emotions other than anger, only makes them feel left alone. 

• Encourage men to express their desires and boundaries: When we constantly tell women to openly express what they prefer or what they don't prefer, then we should tell the men too. In the race of supporting women, people sometimes forget the male's needs and wants. When it comes to expressing, women often allow themselves to express their emotions in front of others and communicate their boundaries, but men on the other hand become frustrated, upset or angry when their boundaries aren't respected because they did not communicate them or express them in the first place. Our society needs to become more accepting of men who are vulnerable and talk their feelings out in a healthy way. Also, when a man talks to you about his feelings, actually listen, and do not always expect them to read signals.

• Examine what's underneath the anger: Men are told that anger is the only possible way to express their emotions, and men often even do this without realizing that they aren't expressing themselves in the right way. Yes, not all men are aggressive in nature, but there's a huge majority of men who are. Often there is pain and sadness underneath the anger of a man. For instance, if you get into a fight with a man, let him calm down. Then, sit with him and talk about his feelings with him, and allow him to express his point of views openly. If you see him crying, do not encourage him to stop crying, rather just let him cry it out. 

• Be sensitive to his financial situation: Currently, there are a lot of people who are struggling financially. Men's relationship with money is often misunderstood as the society expect men to be the ones that earn for the family, and when men fail to meet with the society's expectations, it saddens them. So, at least being sensitive to his financial situation and understanding it would be a relief for him

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