THE PSYCHOLOGY OF REVENGE

Revenge is the act of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands, or the desire to inflict retribution. Revenge is wired to all human beings. Almost everyone thinks about revenge at least at one point in their lives. People often believe that it help with releasing emotional baggage, but it is not true at all. It is actually the opposite. 

A group of Swiss researches conducted a study on the effects of revenge on the brain:

- They scanned the brains of participants who had been wronged during a game in the lab. 

- The researchers then gave the wronged participant a chance to punish the other participant. As the victim thought about the revenge, for a full minute, their brain activity was being recorded.

- Researchers noticed a rush of neural activity in the caudate nucleus. This part of the brain is known to process rewards.

So, researchers concluded that in the moment, revenge is quite rewarding. 

Revenge is not punishment. The two are distinguished by motivation and goals. Revenge seeks to have the person to suffer, meanwhile punishment seeks to improve the person's behavior and reduce possibilities of future bad behaviors. 

LONG-TERM EFFECTS OF REVENGE

• Revenge is not as fruitful as it seems in the moment. This way you are not only doing bad for the other(s), but you're also burning your own self in the process. 

• Revenge corrodes you mentally. People who look for revenge are the ones that continue being anxious about the event and are also the ones who constantly keep digging into the event, whereas, people who do not look for closure after being wronged, are the ones that move on and think way less about the event. 

• Revengeful people often become obsessive towards the person(s) they want to harm. These people are usually desperate for attention, be it good or bad.

WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO BE VENGEFUL?

• People with narcissistic traits are likely to be more vengeful. A healthy person might stand up for themselves when wronged, whereas to a narcissist, the idea of being wronged will send them into rage. Rather than focusing on how to effectively deal with a certain situation, narcissists think about what they can do to the other person to give them the "taste of their own medicine". Though, not all narcissists are vengeful, but in most cases they are. 

• People high in neuroticism are also likely to be revengeful. Vengefulness is a product of their incapability to deal with negative emotions, especially anger and hostility.

REVENGE vs JUSTICE

Some people conveniently believe that revenge is important for self-respect. Well, there is a difference between engaging in harmful revenge and setting boundaries.

A healthy self-respecting person wouldn't spend their time justifying themselves or wanting a closure after being wronged. For instance, when met with a car accident, a rational person might get the responsible person to pay for the damage, meanwhile a revengeful person might rather lash out on the other and disrespect them verbally. 

For justice, it is not important to lash out on the other person or prove them to be responsible for the wrong. Revenge is about "acting out", whereas Justice is about correcting the wrong. 

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD?

• As much as there is love in this world, hate equally exists. The best way to deal with haters or revengeful people, is to not acknowledge their existence, because that is what hurts them the most.

• Rather than focusing on revenge, shift your focus onto your mission. Get the reward center of your brain pumping by thinking of how good would it be to have your goals accomplished. Concentrate on YOU.

"The best revenge is massive success."

- Frank Sinatra 

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